THE CREATOR

Creator of these words your reading and the previous in my past

The manipulator of my pen!

seeing nothing but scattered pieces o poetry trying to keep it inside but everything just sorta spilled out from within...my mind always,

finding time to pause my mental insanity to create poetry

even though my heart lays heavy

desperately pleading for my mouth to speak the words my hand has written so some one could hear!

But for you see my mouth is stitched closed figuratively. Hurt by the unknown. So simply,

shall I tell you my name? give up my identity? take off my cloak of invisibility?

YES!

No more shall my name be hidden,

My name is Taja Dawson

but just call me BILLIE.

Insomnia

I've been cursed with insomnia therefor I am an insomniac,

Sleepless nights, pacing the floor...I'll never get back.

A room with no doors

nothing but an old window watches me

it's dirty and metal bars bind it shut.

"There's no way out!"

I scream inside of me,

I can't see out but outsiders can see in.

They mock,They tease I

Desperately beg them please to restrain from their remarks,

but its no use They can't hear my pleas.

Tears and Sorrow aren't shown through my eyes, for they are to tired and filled woe from being opened.

.......96 hours...27 minutes,and 7..6..5..4.. seconds and counting

losing my mind with every minute that passes by,becomings more...and more

powerless.

My color sense is gone no more YELLOWS,REDS,or BLUES, the only color my eyes can process is

BLACK!

Mournful screamsECHOThroughout the room,

My muscles grow limp

My eyes are sore

I CAN'T THIS ANYMORE!

I HAVE TO END THIS CURSE

clinching my fist hoping for good aim I Bust The Window

the very same, window that has watched me suffer.

A shard o glass

in my grasp

leads me to insanity

Deeply cutting into the vein inside my arm...

THE CURSED BLOOD FLOWS OUT THERE IS PLENTY OF HARM!

a voice asks me,''WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!'' as I pace the floor

YES! the cures can't hurt me any more

I lie on the floor and as I do

My eyes drift away

The gift I've been praying for is mine to reach,

No more am I trapped inside that room and the curse is lifted

so spritualy I sleep in peace.

love

As fragile as blown glass, as gentle as a new born entering the world,

I enjoy watching people experiencing what I've experienced.

I blush feeling...feeling flushed when you speak of it,

A forbidden fruit in the mist.

Your lover hugs you

Accompanied a kiss, Oh dear me I love to see

the first sign of true love. As intensely as the sky is BLUE

I promise I'll never fall out of love with you,

And as pale as the clouds are white I hope you'll have me in your arms tonight

We'll gaze at the stars under a blanket of moonlight,

comforted by your arms aided... by the wind wishing to myself,

"I hope this night will never end." as the moon fades into the sun, that our romantic night is done, I know now that I love you,...I know that you love me this feeling isn't like any I can put above because this is the feeling of

♥LOVE >.<♥

♪♪♥MUSIC♥♪♪

Seduced by the music

enjoying its natural high

influencing me to the possibilities that are endless.

I can actually touch the the sky, an emerald green ocean floating above me

with snow white fish clouds swimming slowly across.

I'm curious with the site before me

I cautiously skim the cloud with my index finger.

Pleased with this cloud I lay upon it and as I do I'm creating abstract poetry

making the words come together in sync,being high on music make me think.

It helps me explore all of the wonders I've been blind to before,The music guides

me through loops,spins and turns I can take while I relax

and let it control me,

My eyes are...rolled back,My body...is numb, and I can't

feel my hands. and yet I remain to write while high.

I need it

I want it

I crave more...music

The breath I breath the noise in my ears

speaks to me...Yes It is the remedy that keeps me sane,

calms the nerves inside of my brain.

I want it

I need more

PLEASE...JUST GIVE ME MORE

MUSIC

The power of my book

For so long I've told myself that I'm not going to write in this book anymore,

But then I pick it up and continue to write again.

This book is magnetically sealed and only the touch of my pen can open it,My pen fills its blank pages with inflicting and self -inflicting pain from wounds that remain unstiched.

I try to cover the tears I weep by writing within this book for comfort,

but somehow I feel like I'm being possessed by it but it cannot be so.

Day after day I find myself constantly writing I break into a cold sweat...and I realize that I am being possessed,

This book is a monster and its using me to its advantage.

I close my book and throw it against the wall and as I do the words from my past,present,and future that I've written over the years starts to bleed through the pages.


I'm scared,for I know whats in store ...the book must be destroyed,

I grab my pen from my pocket and use it as a sword, I raise it high above me and stab it to the floor.

the beast is gone my hands are covered with its ink and again I'm all alone unsafe and unsure inside of my own home.I think to myself,

"How could this be I don't have my book to comfort me,Hey! if I tell to you my pain...will you listen to me?"

Nothing will break us up

A journey that has finally reached its end,looking back I would have done it all again but before we separate ways I want to give thanks to 3 wonderful friends for always being there and helping me feel like I'm not the only person with problems and helping me break down my wall of protection that I've had up for so many years.

Till this day remembering my past with you guys still brings me to tears.James or should I say big brother,



you and I always seem to bump-heads but I know it's because we are so alike and I know I can come to with all my problems,you have held down this family for so long so I thank you for that and I hope you continue to be our big brother.

Mimi my baby sister I love you so much I will have your back whenever you need me.Your silliness is always enought to put a smile on my face,and I love your creative ways.And Nemo you are by far the strangest,

weirdest person I know.
But thats why your my secound oldest sister,because you are not scared to show the world who you are.Eventhough in order to spred our wings we have to be apart I can't seem to let yall go.Seperate ways seperate places,

New journies and new faces,I have no idea where our paths may lie but we can't...we just can't say good bye.

Baby Sister

Your smile keeps me on the ground,
knowing that your happy helps me sleeps sound.
Anything you need me just give me a call because I'm your oldest and

I'll help you through it all,little one my little one I'll do anything to

keep you out of harms way,

And I love to see you smile for it brightens my day.

When your older you'll see just how much you mean to me.

My sister my world such a sweet little girl you're lucky the world is at your feet,you just make my whole day complete.Younger one my life is always worth while when I take a moment to see my sister smile.